Panu Science

Alright, listen up! I’ll tell you not a fairy tale, but a true story.

This happened back in the days of serfdom. And oh, how cruel the lords were! They weren’t people—they were beasts. If you ended up with such a lord, you might as well lie down and die: there was no pleasing him. And as the saying goes, “You can’t nurse the devil into submission.”

That’s exactly how it was with this lord. No matter how hard you worked or how well you did your job, he’d always bark at you: “Not like that, you scoundrel! Not like that, you ragamuffin! Not like that, you dog’s flesh!” He’d eat you alive, mock you, and despise you. And if you didn’t please him, he’d skin you alive.

Oh, how hard it was to live under those lords!

So, there was this particularly cruel lord in one estate. And the things he did! The way he tormented people! He flogged more than one person to death. And he didn’t even consider his serfs to be human.

One day, this vile lord ordered that anyone who had oxen to sell must bring them only to his manor. He stationed guards around the village and didn’t allow a single merchant to pass through. And if someone brought an ox to the manor to sell, the lord would look at it and say:

“What have you brought here, you donkey? This isn’t an ox—it’s a goat!”

And he’d pay them as if it were a goat. And if anyone dared to argue, he’d send them to the stables and give them a good whipping.

The people suffered for a long time under this wretched lord. They endured and endured, but what could they do? Who could they complain to? After all, the lords were everywhere back then—in the courts and in the estates.

But finally, one man appeared who repaid the lord for all the people’s suffering and tears.

This was a clever and daring young man named Rimsha. He had been orphaned early but had managed to set up a household on his own. Rimsha was a proud lad. No one dared lay a finger on him.

One day, Rimsha brought an ox to the lord’s manor to sell. The lord came out onto the porch and said:

“What have you brought here, you donkey? This isn’t an ox—it’s a goat!”

Rimsha looked around, saw that no one was nearby, showed the lord a switch, and asked:

“What’s this, my lord: a birch or a vine? I brought you an ox, not a goat!”

And he started whipping the lord with the switch. He beat him and beat him until his arm grew tired.

“This is for tormenting people!” he said. “If you recover, expect me to visit again.”

With that, Rimsha left the ox and ran off into the forest. The servants found the lord unconscious—Rimsha had beaten him so badly. It took three days for the lord to come to his senses.

“Catch Rimsha for me!” he ordered his servants.

But where could they find him? He had vanished without a trace. Back then, the forests were deep and dark. You could live there as long as you wanted, and no one would ever find you.

Day after day passed, but the lord couldn’t recover. They called all sorts of doctors, but nothing helped. It seemed Rimsha had really done a number on him.

Then, a new doctor arrived at the estate with a whole chest of medicines. The lord summoned him, treated him to a meal, and asked him to cure him.

“Very well,” said the doctor. “I’ll cure the lord. But we need to heat up the bathhouse.”

The servants heated the bathhouse. The doctor led the lord inside, sat him on the bench, and told him to hold onto the railing with both hands. Then he started rubbing him with various ointments.

The lord sat there, gripping the railing and groaning.

But he didn’t groan for long. Soon, the doctor pulled a leather strap from his pocket, tied the lord’s hands to the railing, and stuffed a gag in his mouth. Then he took out a switch and said:

“What’s this, my lord: a birch or a vine? I sold you an ox, not a goat!”

The lord realized it was Rimsha, not the doctor, and tried to scream, but he couldn’t—his mouth was gagged!

The lord squirmed like an eel on a hot skillet, while Rimsha whipped him mercilessly. He nearly flayed the skin off the lord. Then he mounted a horse and rode off. That was the last anyone saw of him.

The lord was ill for a long time. Everyone thought he was done for. But it seems even death doesn’t take the wicked: by spring, the lord had recovered and decided to go abroad to take the waters. He started preparing for the trip, but he was short on money. So he decided to sell his forest. He announced it, and merchants began arriving to inspect the forest. They haggled and haggled, but they couldn’t agree on a price: the lord was stingy and asked for too much.

One day, a very wealthy-looking merchant arrived at the estate. The lord took him to inspect the forest. The lord praised the forest, trying to get a higher price from the merchant, while the merchant nodded along and led him deeper into the thicket. They ventured so far in that they could no longer see the light of day. The merchant started wrapping his arms around the pine trees, measuring their thickness with a sazhen. The lord did the same with one of the pines.

“Look at this,” he said. “What a log! This forest is worth its weight in gold.”

But the merchant pulled out a strap from his pocket and tied the lord to the tree. Then he pulled out a switch from under his coat, showed it to the lord, and asked:

“What’s this, my lord: a birch or a vine? I sold you an ox, not a goat!”

And he started whipping the lord. He beat him as much as he could and then left him tied to the tree.

The lord stood there all day until his servants found him.

For nearly a year after that, the lord lay ill, unable to recover.

Again, the doctors advised him to go abroad to take the waters. The lord sold his forest, grain, and livestock. He gathered a lot of money and prepared to go abroad.

But Rimsha was still keeping an eye on the lord. He found out which road the lord would take and set up an ambush: he stationed two horsemen with switches at intervals of three versts.

As the lord approached the first horseman, the man shook his switch from a distance and shouted:

“What’s this, my lord: a birch or a vine?”

“Catch him, catch him!” the lord shouted to his coachman. “It’s Rimsha!”

The coachman cut the reins with a knife, jumped onto the trace horse, and chased after the horseman.

As soon as he disappeared from sight, another horseman approached the lord’s carriage. He swung his switch from a distance and said:

“What’s this, my lord: a birch or a vine?”

“Grab him, grab the scoundrel!” the lord shouted to his footman. “It’s Rimsha!”

The footman jumped onto the second horse and galloped after the horseman. The lord was left alone in the carriage. Suddenly, Rimsha appeared out of nowhere. He pulled out a switch from under his coat, shook it, and asked:

“What’s this, my lord: a birch or a vine? I sold you an ox, not a goat!”

Rimsha beat the lord, took his money, and disappeared into the forest, back to his dugout.

Rimsha did many good deeds for the poor afterward: he helped them with money and protected them from cruel lords.

To this day, in the dense forest between Zapolye and Novoselki, there’s a hill called Rimsha’s Hill. They say that’s where the proud and brave lad Rimsha lived.

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Panu Science

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