The Tale of Tsar Nesmeyan

Whether it happened or not, there lived a king named Nesmeyan (Never-Laugh). No one had ever seen him laugh, which is why he was called Nesmeyan.

The king had three sons, and they were all called the sons of King Nesmeyan. The brothers said, "Let's go ask our father why he is Nesmeyan, and why we are called the sons of Nesmeyan." So they went.

The eldest son entered first. His father gave him a glass of wine and said,
"Drink this wine, then I will strike you. If you endure my blow, I will tell you..."

The eldest son drank the wine. His father swung and struck him, and the son spun around in place.
"Go, I'll tell you later," said the king.

Next, the middle son entered.
"Who are you?" asked the king.
"I am your son!"
"What do you want?"
"Everyone calls us the sons of King Nesmeyan. Why are you Nesmeyan?"
"Drink the wine, then I will tell you."

The middle son drank the wine. His father struck him, and he too spun around in place.
"Go, I'll tell you later," said the king.

Finally, the youngest son entered.
"Who are you?" asked the king.
"I am the youngest son of King Nesmeyan," he replied.
"Why have you come?"
"Everyone calls us the sons of King Nesmeyan. Why are you Nesmeyan?"

The king handed him wine and said,
"Go on, drink it. I will strike you, then you will know."

The youngest son took the wine and drank it.
The king swung and struck him, but the son did not budge.
"Strike me again, but tell me!" said the son.

The king struck him a second time, and again the son did not move.
"Strike me a third time, but tell me!" said the son.

The king struck him a third time, and still, the son did not move.

Then the king said,
"Go and bring me pomegranates as large as my head. I will teach you how to find them, and if you bring them, you will learn everything about me."

The youngest son went to his brothers, and they asked,
"What did he tell you?"
"He said, 'Bring me pomegranates as large as my head, and you will learn everything about me.'"

The three brothers set out together. They walked for a long time, until they came to an open field. In the field was a crossroads, and at the crossroads stood a stone with an inscription: "If you go this way, you will return; if you go that way, you will return; but if you go this way, you will not return."

The eldest brother went the way from which one would return. The middle brother went the way from which one would return. The youngest brother went the way from which one would not return.

He walked for a long time, until he saw in the distance a black army, all on horses. "Well, I am doomed," thought the youngest brother. "I will surely die!" But he continued straight toward the black army.

When he approached, he saw that the entire army had turned to stone. He walked further.

In the distance, he saw a red army. Frightened, he thought, "Now I am surely doomed," but he continued on. When he approached, he saw that the red army too had turned to stone. He walked further.

As he went, he saw a white army, also turned to stone. He continued on.

After walking for a long time, he saw a tower that reached into the sky. At the entrance stood a pomegranate tree, with five pomegranates hanging from it, each as large as a human head.

The son of King Nesmeyan approached, plucked the pomegranates, ate one, took three with him, and left one on the tree.

A woman looked out from the tower and cried,
"Oh, my son, how much you resemble my own son! What has brought you here? Beware, the Hideous Dev will devour you!"
"Whatever happens, I will climb up," said the son of King Nesmeyan.

The woman braided her hair and let down her braid.
He jumped, grabbed the braid, and climbed up. The woman hid him, fearing the Dev would kill him when he returned.

The son of King Nesmeyan asked her to find out where the Dev's soul was hidden. When the Dev returned, he said,
"Something smells of the son of Adam."
"No," replied the woman, "how could the son of Adam be here? You must have brought the smell with you."

She embraced the Hideous Dev, caressed him, and asked,
"I love you so much, I cannot live without you. Tell me, where is your soul?"
"My soul is in the broom," said the Hideous Dev.

When the Dev went hunting, the woman took the broom, decorated it, wrapped it in colorful brocade and scarves, and placed it on the bed.

When the Dev returned and saw the broom, he laughed,
"I tricked you. My soul is not in the broom, but in this pillar."

After the Dev left to hunt again, the woman cleaned and decorated the pillar as best she could, then embraced and caressed it.

When the Dev returned, he asked,
"What are you doing?"
"I am caressing your soul."
"You've gone mad," laughed the Dev. "Who would give you my soul? My soul is in a boar that lives in such-and-such a place. Inside the boar's head is a box, and in the box are three birds: a red one—my strength, a white one—my mind, and a black one—my soul."
"Who can kill that boar? Is there anyone in the world who can?"
"No one and nothing can kill that boar, unless it is struck by my arrow."

As soon as the Dev left to hunt, the woman gave his arrow to the son of King Nesmeyan. He took two loaves of bread and went to a blacksmith. The blacksmith made him a bow from twenty poods of iron. The young man drew the bow and bent it. The blacksmith then made a bow from forty poods, and the young man drew and bent that one too. Finally, the blacksmith made a bow from sixty poods, and the young man drew it—the bow held firm and did not bend.
The young man slung it over his shoulder and set off to search for the boar.
He walked and walked until he reached the water where the boar came to drink. The young man looked and saw a girl sitting by the water, weeping.
"Why are you crying, shedding tears, ruining your beautiful eyes?" asked the young man.
"Go away, leave me. The boar will come any moment now to devour me..."
The young man learned that this boar devoured a girl every day.
"Don't be afraid," he said. "I'll lie down, rest my head on your lap, and sleep for a while. When the boar comes, make sure to wake me."

The son of Tsar Nesmeyan fell asleep.
A short time passed, and the boar appeared.

It came, gnashing its teeth, froth dripping from its mouth. The girl called the young man, tried to wake him, even struck him—but he wouldn't wake. She wept and wept, wailing in despair, and the earth itself burned with pity for her. One of her tears fell on the young man's cheek, and it burned his skin like fire. He woke with a start, leapt to his feet, grabbed his bow, nocked an arrow, drew the string, and let it fly. The arrow struck the boar in its side, piercing it clean through. The boar fell and breathed its last. The young man approached, cut off the boar's head, split it in two, and found a small box inside. In the box were three birds. First, he tore off the head of the bird of strength, then the bird of wisdom, but he left the bird of soul alive and took it with him.

Meanwhile, the vile demon was out hunting. He sensed that misfortune had befallen the boar and rushed to help, but the young man had already killed the boar and torn off the head of the bird of strength. As soon as the young man removed the head of the white bird, the demon lost his mind and barely managed to drag himself back to his tower. He collapsed, utterly spent.

A woman saw him, descended, sat beside him, and asked:
"My life, what has happened to you?"
At that moment, the son of Tsar Nesmeyan approached and shouted at the demon:
"Why are you lying here, you dog? Tell me at once how to revive the armies you turned to stone!"
"Go, climb to the top. There you will find three whips: white, red, and black. Strike the black army with the black whip, the red army with the red whip, and the white army with the white whip. They will all come back to life and become your loyal servants."
"Tell me the incantation," ordered the young man. The demon told him the incantation.
"And where is all your treasure?" asked the young man.
"Take this key, unlock the farthest room. There lies all my life and all my wealth," said the vile demon.

The son of Tsar Nesmeyan went, unlocked the door to the farthest room, and saw three snakes inside.
"Oh, this is a fine turn of events for us," the snakes said as soon as they saw the young man.

Frightened, the young man said:
"Wait for me a moment, I'll be right back," and he left, locking the door behind him.

He returned to the demon:
"Why did you send me to those cursed snakes, so they could devour me?"
"No," said the demon. "Go and open another room. There you'll find pearls and precious stones. The snakes won't harm you if they see the red whip in your hand. Load everything onto them and drive them away."

The young man stood up, opened the rooms, gathered an immense amount of pearls and precious stones, and set off to find his brothers, taking the pomegranates with him.

He reached the crossroads where the stone lay and sat down to rest. His elder brothers arrived. The youngest brother took out the pomegranates and gave one to each.

The others grew envious:
"We got such small pomegranates, but his are so large."

They decided to kill him. As they walked, the brothers grew thirsty. There was a miraculous well there, called Bulakh. The brothers approached Bulakh, wanting to draw water. They lowered the eldest brother first. As soon as he descended a little, he cried out:
"Pull me up, pull me up, I'm burning!"
They pulled him up.

Next, they lowered the middle brother. He, too, cried out, and they pulled him up.
When they lowered the youngest brother, he said:
"No matter how much I cry 'I'm burning!', keep lowering me further."

He descended, drank the water, gave some to his brothers, then tied a rope around himself to be pulled up. His brothers began to lift him, but halfway up, they cut the rope, and the youngest brother fell to the very bottom.

The brothers left, bringing the pomegranates to their father.
"Where is the third brother?" asked the father.
"We don't know—we haven't seen him!" said the brothers.
"What did you see?" asked the father.
"We saw nothing," said the brothers.
"What did you see?" the father asked the eldest brother.
"I saw nothing," said the eldest.
"And you?"
"I saw nothing," said the middle brother.

Tsar Nesmeyan grew angry. He ordered his advisors to send people at once to search for the youngest brother.

They went, searched for a long time, and found him dead in Bulakh. They retrieved him and carried him home.
Tsar Nesmeyan took a divine cloth, passed it over his son's face, and the son came back to life.

Tsar Nesmeyan laughed, and his laughter was so mighty that the earth trembled, the heavens opened, and gold and silver rained down.
Tsar Nesmeyan asked his son:
"Where are your pomegranates?"
"I remember," said the son, "that I took them with me."
"What did you see on your journey, my son?" asked the tsar. The son told him everything: "On the way, there stood a black army, all turned to stone, then a red army, and then a white one. I passed by and saw a tower so tall it touched the sky, with three windows. Beneath that tower stood a pomegranate tree, and from it I plucked these pomegranates."
"Did you see a woman there?" asked the tsar.
"I did," said the tsar's son. Then the tsar said:
"My son, they call me Nesmeyan because that woman is my wife, whom the vile demon stole from me. And those armies—black, red, and white—are all mine. The vile demon turned them to stone. How can I laugh when I have lost so much?"

The young man rose at once, went to the tower, killed the vile demon, took his mother with him, took the three whips, swung one—and one army came to life, swung another—and the second army revived, swung the third—and the third army rose. And so he returned home happily.

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The Tale of Tsar Nesmeyan

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