The Clever Peasant Woman
Once upon a time, a peasant was working in his vineyard when suddenly his hoe clinked against something hard. He bent down and saw a beautiful mortar lying there. He picked it up, wiped it with the hem of his shirt, and realized it was made of pure gold."This mortar is fit for a king!" exclaimed the peasant. "I'll take it to the palace; maybe I'll get something in return."
At home, his daughter Katerina was waiting for him. He showed her the mortar and told her he wanted to take it to the palace.
"It's a very beautiful mortar," said Katerina, "no doubt about it. But if you take it to the king, he'll find fault with it, saying something is missing. And you'll be in trouble."
"What could possibly be missing? Even the king can't find fault with this. What nonsense are you spouting, you heathen?"
And Katerina replied:
"This is what he'll say:
'A fine mortar, a big one. But where's the pestle, peasant? Do you know?'"
The peasant shrugged.
"Is that what he'll really say? You silly girl, he's smarter than you."
He tucked the mortar under his arm and set off for the royal palace. At first, the guards didn't want to let him in, but when he said he was bringing a marvelous gift for the king, they escorted him to the royal chambers.
"Your Majesty," said the peasant, "I found this heavy golden mortar in my vineyard and thought it belonged only in the royal palace. So I brought it as a gift to Your Majesty, if you would kindly accept it."
The king took the mortar, turned it over, and examined it from all sides. Then he shook his head and said:
"A fine mortar, a big one. But where's the pestle? Do you know?"
Just as Katerina had predicted, except the king didn't say "peasant," for he was an educated man. The peasant couldn't help exclaiming:
"She guessed it! She guessed it!"
"Who guessed what?" asked the king.
"Forgive me," apologized the peasant, "my daughter. She guessed that Your Majesty would say exactly that, and I didn't believe her."
Then the king remarked:
"Your daughter must be very clever. Let's test her abilities. Take this flax and give it to her. Tell her to weave shirts for my soldiers, and quickly."
The peasant was puzzled by such an order, but it was a royal command. He took the bundles of flax, bowed to His Majesty, and went home. The mortar remained with the king, who didn't give the peasant a single coin for it.
"My daughter," said the peasant to Katerina, "you've brought great misfortune upon yourself," and he told her the king's order.
"Don't worry," replied Katerina. She took the flax and began to comb it.
Everyone knows that even in well-combed flax, there are always bits of coarse fiber. Three such bits fell to the ground. They were so small they were barely visible. Katerina picked them up and said to her father:
"Go to the king, give him these three bits, and tell him I will make the cloth for the shirts, but I don't have a loom. Let him make one for me out of these bits, and then I'll fulfill whatever the king desires."
The peasant was terrified to go back to the king, but Katerina pleaded with him so much that he finally agreed.
The king wanted to see the clever Katerina and said to the peasant:
"Your daughter is quite something! Send her to the palace; I'd like to talk to her. But tell her to come to me neither naked nor clothed, neither hungry nor full, neither by day nor by night, neither on foot nor on horseback. If she doesn't fulfill my wish, you'll lose your heads."
The peasant returned home half-dead. But his daughter said as if nothing had happened:
"Father, I already know what to do. It's very simple; just get me a fishing net."
In the morning, Katerina rose before dawn, draped the net over herself (so she was neither naked nor clothed), ate a single bean (so she was neither hungry nor full), took a goat, and sat on it—one foot touching the ground, the other dangling in the air (neither on foot nor on horseback). In this manner, at dawn (neither day nor night), she arrived at the king's palace. The guards thought she was mad and didn't want to let her in, but when they learned she was fulfilling the king's order, they escorted her to His Majesty.
"Your Majesty, you ordered me to appear, and here I am."
The king couldn't help laughing and said:
"Well, Katerina! You're just the kind of girl I need. I want to marry you and make you my queen. But on one condition: you must never interfere in my affairs (the king understood that Katerina was cleverer than he)."
Katerina told her father everything, and he said:
"If the king really wants to marry you, there's no need to hesitate. Just act wisely and remember that His Majesty may say one thing today and another tomorrow (kings are fickle in their desires). Just in case, leave your homemade clothes here; I'll hang them on a nail. If you ever return home, you'll have something to change into."
Katerina was overjoyed. A few days later, the wedding took place, and the entire kingdom celebrated.
Meanwhile, there was a fair in the city, and peasants who had nowhere to sleep were lying in the streets, almost under the royal windows.
One peasant had brought a pregnant cow to sell and didn't know where to keep it for the night. The innkeeper suggested tying the cow under a shed and securing it to someone else's cart. During the night, the cow gave birth.
The peasant was delighted and went to fetch the cow and her calf. But then the owner of the cart appeared and said:
"Take your cow, but don't touch the calf—it's mine."
"How is it yours if my cow gave birth to it last night?"
"Well," said the owner of the cart, "the cow was tied to the cart, and the cart is mine; therefore, the calf is mine too." And so a heated argument broke out between them, escalating from words to blows. The noise drew a crowd, and the king's guards arrived, separated the disputants, and dragged them to the royal court.
There was once a custom in this town that the king's wife had the right to speak her mind in court. But now that Catherine had become queen, though the king did not issue the verdict, she always opposed him. This soon annoyed His Majesty, and he said to his wife:
"I warned you not to interfere in state affairs. From now on, I forbid you to appear in court."
And so, the peasants stood before the king alone in court.
After hearing both peasants, the king issued his verdict:
"The calf belongs to the cart."
The owner of the cow was very dissatisfied with this unjust decision but was afraid to challenge the king. After all, the king had declared that he was in charge, and his word was law for everyone. The innkeeper advised the wronged peasant to go to the queen—she would surely help him.
And so, the peasant went to the royal palace, approached a servant, and asked:
"Good man, tell me, is it possible for me to speak with the queen?"
"No," replied the servant. "The king has forbidden the queen to receive anyone."
Then the peasant began to walk along the fence of the royal garden.
He saw the queen, jumped over the fence, and tearfully told her about the injustice of her husband. The queen replied:
"Here is my advice. Tomorrow, the king is going hunting. Where he hunts, there is a lake, but it has dried up, and there is not a drop of water left. Do this: dress up as a fisherman, take a net, and pretend to fish. The king will see this, laugh at first, and then ask how you can fish where there is no water. Then answer him: 'Your Majesty, if a cart can give birth to a calf, why can't one fish on dry land?'"
The next morning, the peasant dressed in fisherman's clothes, took a net, and went to the lake, where there was not a drop of water. He sat on the shore, cast the net, and began pulling it in as if there were fish. The king appeared with his entourage. He saw the peasant, laughed, and asked if he had gone mad. The peasant answered the king as the queen had advised.
Hearing this response, the king exclaimed:
"Good man, this wisdom is not from your sack. Surely, you have been to the queen."
The peasant remained silent, and the king reconsidered his verdict, ordering the calf to be returned to the peasant. Then he called Catherine and said:
"You have violated my ban and interfered in my affairs. So, take with you from the palace what is dearest to you, leave tonight for your father's house, and continue your peasant life."
And Catherine humbly replied:
"As Your Majesty commands, I cannot but obey. But I ask only one thing: may I leave tomorrow? Tonight would be too shameful for both you and me—there would be rumors among the people."
Then the king said:
"Very well, then. Let us dine together one last time, and you may leave tomorrow morning."
What did the cunning Catherine do? She ordered the cooks to prepare roasted meat, ham, and other foods that not only make one thirsty but also weigh one down, and to bring the finest wines from the royal cellars to the table. During dinner, the king ate to his fill, and Catherine kept pouring him wine. First, the king's vision blurred, then he began to snore, and finally, he started snoring like a boar, right on the throne.
Then Catherine said to the servants:
"Take the throne with the king and follow me. And not a word about this."
Late into the night, Catherine approached her father's house.
"Father, open up, it's me," she called. The old peasant, hearing his daughter's voice, immediately jumped up:
"Why so late? I told you! And it's a good thing I saved your old clothes. They're here, in your room, hanging on a hook."
"Open up, and quickly!" Catherine shouted. "Enough talking."
The peasant opened the door and saw the servants carrying the throne, with the sleeping king on it. Catherine ordered them to bring him inside, undress him, and put him in her bed. Then she dismissed the servants and lay down beside the king.
At midnight, the king woke up: the mattress didn't seem as soft as usual, and the sheets weren't as smooth. He tossed and turned, feeling his wife beside him. The king said to her:
"Catherine, didn't I tell you to go home?"
"Yes, Your Majesty," she replied, "but the day has not yet come. Sleep peacefully."
And the king fell asleep, but early in the morning, he was awakened by the braying of a donkey, the bleating of sheep, and a ray of sunlight piercing through the roof. Half-asleep, he didn't recognize the royal chambers. He asked his wife:
"Catherine, where are we?" And she replied:
"You told me, Your Majesty, to return home and take with me what is dearest to me? I did just that—I took Your Majesty with me."
The king laughed and made peace with Catherine. They returned to the palace and have lived there ever since. Since then, the king has never appeared in court without his wife.
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