The Pope's Answer

In San Marino, there lived two fools. They didn’t consider themselves fools, but the residents of San Marino told them so every day. Yet, the fools still didn’t believe it. One day, the two of them got together and began to consult on how they could find out whether they were fools or not. They thought and thought—who could they ask?

"Let’s ask the judge," suggested the first fool.

"Oh, no," replied the second. "I’m not going to the judge. About a month ago, I filed a complaint against my neighbor for beating me with a stick. But instead of punishing that scoundrel, the judge called me a fool and chased me away."

"Why did your neighbor beat you?" asked the first fool.

"I don’t know. You see, it was in a dream. I just wanted to ask my neighbor why he was hitting me, but that’s when I woke up. Let’s go to the shopkeeper instead. They say he’s so clever that he could outsmart the devil himself."

"Oh, I’m not going to the shopkeeper," replied the first fool. "Last Sunday, I wanted to buy myself some shoes. The shopkeeper gave me a pair. I looked at them, and they were mismatched: one toe pointed one way, the other pointed the other way. I thought, 'You’re not fooling me,' and asked him for two shoes that matched. Then the shopkeeper said, 'If you want to wear two left shoes, you’ll have to pay for two right ones as well. If you don’t want to, get out of here, fool.' So, I left."

"What should we do then?" said the second fool.

They started thinking again. They thought and thought and decided to go to the Pope himself. After all, the priest at the church had said that the Pope never makes mistakes.

The fools went to Rome to see the Pope. They kissed his shoe, as was customary, and began to complain.

"Holy Father, judge us and the people of San Marino. They’ve called us fools, but we don’t believe it. If we really are fools—then so be it. But if we’re not, then order our neighbors to call us smart."

"Very well, I’ll judge," agreed the Pope. "But first, tell me," he turned to one of the fools, "why were you called a fool the first time?"

"Well, here’s why," replied the fool. "About five years ago, my mother sent me to fetch water in the morning. I took a bucket, went to the stream, and started scooping water with a stick. I’d dip the stick—shake off a drop, dip the stick—shake off a drop. I kept at it until evening, but the bucket was still empty. Then my mother came running and called me a fool. And the neighbors heard it. Ever since then, it’s been 'fool this, fool that.' But what was I supposed to do—use my finger? I’d have frozen it in the cold water."

"And why were you called a fool the first time?" the Pope asked the second fool.

"Oh, it’s such a silly thing, I don’t even want to remember it. My grandmother sent me to the cellar to fetch a jug of milk. I went down, but the door was too low. I could fit my whole body through, but my head wouldn’t pass. I asked my grandmother to make the cellar door higher. But instead, she called me a fool. And that’s how it started."

The Pope listened to them from beginning to end and thought:

"Explaining to a fool that he’s a fool is like sifting flour in the wind. But I’m not called the Pope for nothing—I won’t let them leave without an answer."

He ordered his servant to catch a mouse and put it in a box. He gave the box to the fools and said:

"Here’s my answer. Don’t open the box until you return to San Marino. But know this: if you lose the answer, then you truly are the biggest fools."

The fools took the box, kissed the Pope’s shoe as was customary, and set off back the same way they came.

When they returned home, they locked themselves in a room, tightly closing the doors and windows. Then they lifted the lid of the box, and something jumped out!

The fools rushed to catch the Pope’s answer, but the mouse darted into a hole—and it was gone.

"Listen," said one fool, "what kind of answer is this? It seems like a mouse."

"A mouse? I don’t know," said the second fool. "I’ve never seen a mouse. Have you?"

"I have. It’s small, gray, with a tail, and there’s usually a cat behind it."

"Well, this was small, gray, and had a tail. But there was no cat. So, it wasn’t a mouse."

The fools looked at each other and said:

"There’s nothing we can do. We lost the Pope’s answer. That means we really are fools."

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The Pope's Answer

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