A Bump on the Right and a Bump on the Left
Long ago, in the village of Asano, there lived an old man named Goemon. He was an unusual old man: on his right cheek, there was a large, round lump, resembling a good-sized apple.When Goemon looked to the left, he could see everything clearly. But when he looked to the right, all he could see was his lump. This annoyed him greatly. Moreover, the heavy lump made his head tilt to one side, which was also quite inconvenient.
All the old man could think about was how to get rid of the lump.
One day, he went to the forest on the mountain to chop some firewood. Suddenly, a storm began. Lightning struck, thunder roared, and rain poured down.
"Where can I hide?" thought the old man, looking around. Not far away, he spotted a large hollow tree. Delighted, he ran to the tree and climbed into the hollow.
By then, it was already dark. The axes of the woodcutters no longer echoed in the mountains. It was completely quiet, except for the howling wind rushing past the tree. Goemon became frightened. Cowering at the bottom of the hollow, he tightly shut his eyes and began muttering to himself: "Kuwa-bara, kuwa-bara" ("Protect me!").
At midnight, when the wind died down and the raindrops fell less and less frequently, a noise came from the mountain—loud footsteps and voices.
Sitting in the hollow, the old man was so bored that he was delighted to hear the voices. He opened his eyes, stood up to his full height, and cautiously peeked out of the hollow.
What did he see?
Coming down the mountain toward the tree were not people, but mountain demons. Red, blue, green. Some had three eyes, some had two noses, some had a horn on their forehead, and some had mouths stretching to their ears. But none of the demons had a lump like Goemon's. Goemon became even more frightened. He crouched in the hollow and curled up so tightly that he became almost smaller than his own lump.
Meanwhile, the demons, howling and roaring, approached the tree and began sitting down on the grass. The chief demon sat in the center, while the smaller demons arranged themselves in a semicircle around him. Then they all pulled porcelain cups and rice wine from their pockets and began toasting each other, just like people. At first, they drank in silence, then they sang a song in unison, and suddenly, one small demon jumped up, ran to the center of the circle, and began to dance. The others followed suit. Some danced better, others worse. When the dance ended, the chief demon nodded approvingly and said:
"Good, very good! We’re having fun today. But you all dance the same. If only someone would dance differently, something new!"
The old man heard all of this. At first, he sat in the hollow, afraid to open his eyes. But gradually, curiosity got the better of him. He cautiously rose and peeked out slightly, so that only his left eye was above the hollow, while his right eye, nose, and lump remained inside. When Goemon saw how merrily the demons were dancing, he forgot all about his fear. His feet began to twitch. But the hollow was too cramped—there was no room to dance, or even to move.
Suddenly, Goemon heard the chief demon say: "If only someone would dance differently, something new!" At that moment, the old man desperately wanted to jump out of the hollow and dance freely. But no, it was too scary! What if they ate him?
As he was pondering this, the demons all began clapping their hands together, so cheerfully and enthusiastically that Goemon could no longer resist.
"Ah, what’s there to fear? I’ll dance one last time, and then let them eat me if they want!"
He pushed himself up with one hand, swung his leg over the edge, and jumped right into the center of the circle.
The demons were even frightened. They jumped up from their seats, startled:
"What’s this?"
"What happened?"
"A human!"
But the old man, paying no attention, began to dance! He jumped, crouched, twisted, stretched, ran to the right, moved to the left, and spun like a top. As he danced, he grunted:
"Eh, korya, eh, korya…"
The demons watched him intently, stomping their feet, clicking their tongues, and clapping their hands.
"Amazing!"
"Yare!"
When Goemon finally ran out of energy and stopped, the chief demon said:
"Thank you, old man! We love to dance, but we’ve never seen anything like this before. Come back tomorrow evening and dance for us again."
Goemon just smiled:
"Alright! I’ll come even without your invitation. To be honest, I wasn’t planning to dance today—I wasn’t prepared. But by tomorrow evening, I’ll remember everything I used to dance in my youth."
Then the demon sitting to the right of the chief said:
"What if the old man plans to deceive us and doesn’t come back? We should take something from him as collateral."
The chief demon nodded:
"That’s a good idea."
"But what should we take?"
The demons began to argue. Some shouted, "His hat!" Others, "His axe!"
But the chief demon raised its hand, and when everyone fell silent, it said:
"It’s best to take the lump from his cheek. I’ve seen many humans, and I know that no one else has such a lump. It must be a very precious thing."
Goemon’s hands and legs trembled with joy. But he pretended to be very sorry to part with his lump.
"Better tear out my eye," he shouted, "better pull out my tongue, rip off my nose, my ears, but please, don’t touch my lump! I’ve carried it for so many years, I’ve cherished it so much. What will I do without it?"
Hearing this, the chief demon said:
"Look how much he values his lump! Well, if that’s the case, take it!"
Immediately, the smallest demon jumped up to the old man and quickly twisted the lump off his cheek. Goemon didn’t even feel it.
By then, dawn was breaking. Crows began to caw.
The demons grew restless.
"Well, old man, come back tomorrow! You’ll get your lump back."
And suddenly, they all vanished.
Goemon looked around—no one was there. He touched his cheek—it was smooth. He glanced to the right—he could see the pine tree and its branches, but the lump was gone.
The lump was gone!
"What luck! Such wonders do happen in this world!"
And the old man ran home to quickly share the good news with his wife.
When his wife saw him without the lump, she threw up her hands:
"Where did you lose your lump?"
"The demons took it."
"Well, well!" was all she said, her eyes wide with surprise.
In the same village, there lived another old man named Buemon. He looked so much like Goemon that it seemed as if one was the real person and the other was his reflection. Buemon also had a large lump on his cheek, but not on the right side—it was on the left.
So, when he looked to the right, he could see everything he wanted, but when he looked to the left, he saw not what he wanted, but only his lump.
And his head also tilted, but not to the right—it tilted to the left.
Buemon had long been tired of his lump. He really wanted to be rid of it.
One day, as he was walking through the village, he met his neighbor, Goemon. He noticed that Goemon’s right cheek was now as smooth as his left. It was as if the lump had never been there.
"Listen," he asked, "where did your lump go? Did some skilled healer remove it? Please tell me where he lives, and I’ll go to him right away. Let him remove my lump too."
But Goemon replied:
"No, it wasn’t a healer who removed my lump."
"Not a healer? Then who?"
Goemon then told Buemon everything that had happened to him the previous night.
"So that’s how it is!" said Buemon. "Well, I can dance too! I’ll go to the demons tonight and dance for them. Just tell me where that place is, where they come at night."
Goemon explained in detail how to find the hollow tree where he had spent the night.
Buemon, of course, was delighted and immediately ran to the forest. He found the tree, climbed into the hollow, and waited for the demons.
Exactly at midnight, a noise came from the mountain: loud footsteps and voices. Red, blue, and green demons came running toward the tree, howling and roaring. Just like the night before, they sat down on the grass in front of the tree and began feasting. First, they drank rice wine, then they sang a song in unison.
As soon as the old man saw the demons, he huddled in the hollow and shut his eyes. In his fear, he even forgot why he had come.
Suddenly, he heard the chief demon roar:
"Well, where’s the old man?"
The smallest demon squeaked in response:
"Where’s the old man? Why isn’t he here?"
Then Buemon remembered his lump and thought, "Well, since I’ve come, I have to go out. So be it, I’ll dance for them!"
And he somehow managed to crawl out of the hollow. The smallest demon saw him and squealed at the top of its voice:
"He’s here! He’s here! Here he is!"
The chief demon was pleased:
"Ah, you’ve come? Well done, old man! Come here and dance for us."
The demons began clapping their hands. But the old man was so frightened he could barely stand: he lifted his right leg—his left leg buckled, and he almost fell. He lifted his left leg—his right leg buckled, and again he almost toppled over.
The chief demon watched for a while and then suddenly became angry:
"What kind of dance is this? You’re dancing so poorly today that it’s unbearable to watch. Enough! Get out of here! Hey, give him back his collateral!"
Immediately, the smallest demon ran up to the old man. "Here, take it back!"
And *slap!*—it stuck the lump onto his right cheek. Now the old man had two lumps: one on the right and one on the left. At least his head no longer tilted to either side—it stayed straight.
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