How the Priests Were Cured
Once upon a time, there were three priests. They had grown so fat that it was a real problem. No matter what they did or what medicines they took—nothing helped.The doctors advised them to go to a spa: maybe, they said, the water would draw out the excess fat.
The priests went around asking people for money for the trip. They came to one man named Adas. He had worked his whole life at the manor's distillery and was known for his clever ideas.
Adas listened to the fat priests, thought for a moment, and then said:
"Why should you, reverend fathers, go around asking people yourselves? Stay with me for a while, and I'll do this work for you."
"Good," said the priests. "That's even better for us, as it's hard for us to walk around ourselves."
Adas brought some vodka and began to treat the priests.
The priests drank and praised the host: what a kind man, they thought, who spares nothing for God's servants!
They drank their fill of free vodka and began to snore loudly in the house.
The host left them and went to his friends—workers from the distillery.
"So and so," he said, "help me, lads, to cure these fat priests."
"We can do that," his friends replied. "Who says we're not doctors?"
They came to Adas, dressed the drunken, sleeping priests in work clothes, and in the evening carried them to the manor's distillery.
In the morning, the priests woke up. They looked around—where were they? They looked at each other and were even more surprised—instead of cassocks, they were wearing ragged peasant tunics, and on their feet were worn-out shoes... Everything was just like the workers at the manor's distillery!
But the priests didn't have long to wonder. The manor's overseer approached them and shouted:
"What are you lounging around for? Go carry potatoes to the boilers!"
The overseer thought the lord had hired new workers, and they had come here to laze around instead of working.
The priests wanted to argue with the overseer, but he wouldn't listen and started whipping them with a lash.
The priests cried out:
"We're not workers, we're priests!"
"Oh, so you think you can mock me now!"
And the overseer started beating them again, even harder.
The priests twisted and turned, but they realized there was nothing they could do.
"We'll go, we'll go," they said, "to work."
"That's what you should have said right away!" the overseer calmed down. "Instead of making up stories—priests! I'll teach you a lesson!"
The priests thought: "Maybe it's true—maybe we only dreamed that we were priests?"
They went to carry potatoes. The workers loaded sacks onto their shoulders, and the priests groaned as they carried them, glancing sideways at the overseer with his lash. By noon, they had carried a whole pile of potatoes—the priests were strong.
After lunch, the overseer gave them a new task—to saw wood. And the wood turned out to be oak, full of knots. The priests sawed and kept glancing at the sun: when would evening come?
They somehow made it to evening and, without eating, fell asleep right by the warm boiler, dead to the world.
In the morning, they got up, ate potatoes with the workers, and grabbed the saw—they were afraid the overseer would whip them.
The priests worked at the distillery like everyone else, as they should, eating and sleeping together.
A week passed, then a second, and the fat began to melt off the priests. After a month, they became as lean as greyhounds. They looked at each other and couldn't recognize themselves—they had grown so thin. "Probably," they thought, "the devils grabbed us and sent us to the distillery as punishment."
One day after work, Adas's friends brought the priests a bottle of vodka and began to treat them. The priests drank and fell into a deep sleep. The workers then carried them back to Adas's house, took off their dirty clothes, and put them to bed.
The priests woke up late the next morning and trembled, afraid they had overslept for work! They began to hurriedly look for their clothes. Suddenly, they saw their real priestly cassocks lying beside them! The priests were amazed—they couldn't believe their eyes.
Then the host came in with a frying pan of scrambled eggs. The smell of eggs filled the house, tickling their noses.
"Get up, get up, reverend fathers," said the host. "It's time for breakfast."
The priests dressed and sat at the table. They ate and silently glanced at each other: it seemed like they were dreaming again!
After breakfast, they prepared to leave.
Adas said:
"Wait, reverend fathers, I haven't yet collected the money for your trip to the spa..."
"No, no," the priests waved their hands, "we don't need any spa: we're already cured." And they dashed out the door one after the other. The priests ran out into the yard and hurried to their respective churches. They ran so fast that not even a horse could catch them.
More fairy tales
