The Peasant and the Nobleman

Once upon a time, there lived a peasant. He was digging a cellar and found a piece of gold in the ground.

"What should I do with it?" thought the peasant. "If I keep it for myself, the lord will take it away. And if the lord doesn’t take it, the steward will, and if not the steward, then the village elder. I’d better take this gold to the tsar. The tsar will reward me, and no one will dare take away the tsar’s reward!"

The peasant put on new bast shoes and set off to see the tsar.

After a long or short journey—who knows—he reached the tsar’s palace. A guard stopped him and asked:

"Where are you going, peasant?"

"I want to give my find to the tsar."

"And what is this find?"

"A piece of gold."

The guard let him through. So did the second, third, and fourth guards. The peasant finally reached the tsar’s chambers. At the door stood a nobleman, fat and important.

"Where are you going, peasant?"

"To the tsar, sir."

"To the tsar? And what business do you have there?"

"Well, I was digging a cellar and found a piece of gold. I’m bringing it as a gift to the tsar."

The greedy nobleman’s eyes lit up:

"Gold? Show it to me!"

The peasant showed him the gold. The nobleman trembled with greed and said:

"If you give me half of the tsar’s reward, I’ll let you through. If not, go away!"

What could the peasant do?

"Very well, sir, I’ll give you half," the peasant replied. The nobleman let him through.

"Greetings, little tsar, sir!" said the peasant. "I’ve brought you a gift."

And he handed over the piece of gold. The tsar took the gold and asked:

"What should I give you for such a gift?"

"Nothing, little tsar, sir. If it pleases you, give me a shot of vodka and a crust of bread, for I’ve grown very hungry on my way here!"

The tsar ordered a whole decanter of vodka and a loaf of white bread to be brought.

The peasant looked at the white bread and said:

"Neither my father nor my grandfather ever ate or saw such bread—I won’t eat it either! Don’t you have, little tsar, sir, some simple rye bread?"

The tsar ordered rye bread to be brought. The servants ran off, found an old beggar at the gates, begged a crust of bread from him, and brought it to the peasant.

"Now this is bread for me!" said the peasant. He filled a cup to the brim, drank it, and took a bite of the bread. He poured another, drank it, and took another bite. Soon he had finished the whole decanter of vodka and eaten the entire crust.

"Well," he said, "thank you, little tsar, sir. Now I’ve eaten and drunk my fill!"

"What shall I give you now, little peasant?"

"Now, little tsar, sir, I’d like to dance."

"Bring the musicians!" ordered the tsar. The regimental musicians were brought in.

"No, little tsar, sir!" said the peasant. "I don’t know how to dance to such music. I’d like to dance to a pipe!"

The tsar sent servants all over the city to find a piper. They found one, brought him in, and the piper began to play. The peasant started dancing. He danced and danced until he was exhausted and said:

"Enough!"

Then the tsar asked him:

"What else do you need now?"

"Now, little tsar, sir, I’d like to sleep."

The tsar ordered a bed to be prepared for the peasant. They made him a soft, downy bed, but the peasant looked at the mattress, shifted from foot to foot, and refused to lie down.

"This bed isn’t for me. I’ve never slept on down. I need some pea straw!"

They brought a whole cartload of pea straw. The peasant put his hat under his head and began snoring so loudly it echoed through the palace. When he woke up, he got up and said:

"Thank you, little tsar, sir! I’ve been rude and made a mess here—give me a hundred lashes for it."

"What are you saying, little peasant? What lashes? You’ve given me gold!"

"Ah, little tsar, sir! Please, be kind and give me a hundred lashes as my reward!"

What could the tsar do? They brought the rods. They were about to whip the peasant, but he said:

"Wait, little tsar, sir. I have a partner!"

"What partner?"

"When I was coming to you, a certain important nobleman wouldn’t let me through. ‘If you give me half of what the tsar gives you,’ he said, ‘then I’ll let you pass.’ I promised him. So give him fifty lashes first, and then give me the rest."

They brought the nobleman in. The tsar ordered him to be stripped, laid on a bench, and rewarded as promised. The nobleman trembled and shook.

"Don’t worry, sir," said the peasant. "I won’t cheat you: you’ll get exactly what we agreed on."

They laid the nobleman down and gave him fifty good lashes!

The peasant then said:

"Ah, little tsar, sir, he serves you so well! He deserves a reward—give him my half too!"

So they gave the nobleman another fifty lashes, making a hundred in total. After settling the score with the nobleman, the tsar wanted to ask the peasant where he was from and reward him, but the peasant grabbed his hat and dashed out the door, disappearing in an instant.

"Who knows," he thought, "what honor might come my way next—it might be more than I can bear!" Fairy girl