Jack Hannaford

Once upon a time, there lived an old soldier. He had been at war for so long that by the end of it, he was completely worn out and had no idea where to go to get some money. He climbed up the heather-covered hills and descended into the valleys until he finally reached a farm. At that time, the farmer was away—he had gone to the market—and his wife had stayed at home. She was as foolish as they come. To be fair, the farmer himself wasn’t particularly bright either, so it’s hard to say which of the two was dumber. But once you hear the whole story, you’ll be able to decide for yourself.

Now, before leaving for the market, the farmer had said to his wife:
"I’m leaving you ten pounds in gold. Make sure you keep it safe until I return!"
If he hadn’t been such a fool, he would never have left the money with his wife.
As soon as he was out of sight, the wife said to herself:
"I’ll hide this money from thieves!" She tied the ten pounds into a bundle, went into the room, and hid it above the fireplace.
“No thief will ever find it here!” she thought. Just then, the old soldier Jack Hanniford approached the house and knocked on the door.
"Who’s there?" asked the farmer’s wife.
"Jack Hanniford."
"Where are you coming from?"
"From heaven."
"Good heavens! Then you must have seen my late husband there?"

It should be noted that she had married the farmer as a widow, so she was asking about her first husband.
"Of course I’ve seen him," replied the soldier.
"How is he doing?" asked the farmer’s wife, already getting emotional.
"Not too well. He’s mending old shoes. And all he eats is cabbage."
"Oh, poor soul!" said the farmer’s wife. "Did he ask you to bring me any message?"
"Indeed he did!" said Jack Hanniford. "He told me that he’s run out of leather for repairs and that his pockets are empty. So he thought it wouldn’t hurt if you sent him a few shillings—enough to buy some leather."
"I’ll send it, I’ll send it! May the Lord bless his sinful soul…"
And with that, the farmer’s wife ran into the room, fetched the bundle with the ten pounds, and handed it to the soldier.
"Tell my husband," she said, "to take as much as he needs from this money and send the rest back."

Jack took the money and didn’t waste any time thinking—he hurried off the farm as quickly as he could.
Meanwhile, the farmer returned home and asked his wife about the money. She told him that she had sent it with a soldier to heaven, to her late husband, so he could buy some leather—to mend shoes for saints and angels.

The farmer was furious with his wife and said he had never met such a fool in his life. But his wife retorted that he was even dumber for trusting her with the money.

However, there was no time to argue; the farmer jumped on his horse and set off in pursuit of Jack Hanniford. The old soldier heard the sound of hooves and realized the farmer was chasing him. He lay down on the ground, covered one eye with his hand, and pointed to the sky with the other, staring upward.
"What are you doing here?" asked the farmer, reining in his horse.
"Oh Lord! What a miracle!" exclaimed Jack.
"What miracle?"
"Look, there’s a man flying straight up to heaven, as if he were running on the ground."
"Can you still see him?"
"Yes."
"Where is he?"
"Get off your horse and lie down on the ground!"
"Will you hold the horse for me?" Jack readily agreed. So the farmer lay down on the ground.
"I don’t see anything," he said.
"Cover your eyes with your hand, and you’ll see the man flying at full speed."
And sure enough, the farmer saw a man flying at full speed—except it was Jack Hanniford, who had jumped on the horse and galloped away.

The farmer returned home on foot, without his horse. "You see," his wife said to him, "it turns out you’re even dumber than me. I only did one foolish thing, but you did two!"

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Jack Hannaford

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