Three Violinists in Paradise

Once, Saint Peter and Saint John got into a heated argument at the gates of Heaven. It’s unclear exactly what they were arguing about, but the reason must have been serious, because the two saints, starting with barbs and insults, ended up in a fistfight. Grabbing each other, they fought like two furious cab drivers.

Saint Peter was beaten. He stood up, covered in dust, feeling a resentment utterly unworthy of such a high-ranking saint, and with all his might, he hurled the huge, heavy keys to Heaven into Saint John’s face.

But the leader of the apostles, blinded by rage, aimed poorly. The keys fell at Saint John’s feet, and he quickly picked them up, declaring that from now on, he would be the one to open and close the gates of Heaven. No matter how much Saint Peter begged his comrade to forgive his momentary outburst, no matter how much he groveled, trying to coax the keys back, Saint John refused to listen and only sneered contemptuously when Saint Peter threatened to complain to God himself. He knew that Saint Peter would be too afraid that the Lord might scold him for giving in to his anger and wouldn’t dare lodge a complaint against him, Saint John.

The new gatekeeper, still inexperienced in his duties, allowed several souls who had no right to enter to cross the sacred threshold. The Devil himself appeared and scolded him for his excessive leniency, saying it was unbecoming of a saint to take bread out of a former archangel’s mouth. He swore he would report these matters to God the Father. But Saint John was unmoved by the threat: he knew the Devil could never enter Heaven.

Among the people who had slipped into the realm of the blessed due to Saint John’s carelessness were three violinists. But instead of behaving properly in the venerable company they had smuggled themselves into, they began playing the most rollicking and seductive tunes on their violins. Soon, they were surrounded by a crowd of younger saints—youths and maidens—who immediately began dancing and frolicking, much to the outrage of the patriarchs and elderly saints, steadfast in their virtue. They went to report to God the Father about the scandalous and unprecedented events unfolding in Heaven.

God the Father summoned Saint John, who had been identified as the root cause of all this chaos. He scolded the saint for forcibly taking the keys and ordered him to return them to Peter without delay, as Peter had been entrusted with the duty of gatekeeper since time immemorial. Saint Peter, in turn, was reprimanded for giving in to anger, but the apostle, overjoyed to regain his position, took no offense at the rebuke. As for Saint John, he was ordered to remove the three rascals who had snuck into Heaven due to his negligence.

Saint John found himself in a very difficult position. There was no way he could forcibly remove the violinists. Once someone entered Heaven, they could only leave of their own free will. Sitting in a corner, Saint John pondered what to do but couldn’t come up with anything.

Meanwhile, the chaos in Heaven continued. But as the musicians played tirelessly, the strings of their violins began to snap one by one, the bow hairs wore out, and the violinists soon realized they would have to stop playing. Saint John learned of their predicament, and a hope arose in him to cunningly rid Heaven of the uninvited guests who had slipped in.

He summoned a drummer from the city, placed him near the gates of Heaven, and ordered him to drum and shout that he had three fine violins for sale, along with a large supply of strings, bows, and rosin; anyone interested should come to him, and he would sell the goods at a very reasonable price.

At this news, the musicians leaped for joy and hurried out of Heaven to buy new violins. They bought everything without haggling, but when they tried to re-enter, Saint Peter gleefully slammed the gates of Heaven shut right in their faces. It is said that he remained completely indifferent to the pleas of the righteous youth, who flocked to him, begging him to allow the merry musicians to return to Heaven.

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Three Violinists in Paradise

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