About the Tsarevich and the Unprecedented Beauty Under the Sun
Whether it happened or not, there once lived a king who had three sons. In that kingdom, there was a beauty unlike any other under the sun. No one ever saw her, and it cost a fortune just to catch a glimpse of her.To see just one of her hands cost ten thousand, and to see her in full—well, that cost an unimaginable amount of money.
The king's sons were desperate to see this beauty. Their father gave the eldest and the middle son an unimaginable amount of money, and they paid and saw her. But the youngest son received no money from his father, and so he never saw the beauty.
The youngest son was upset and grew sad. He left. He left his home entirely, walking and crying. Along the way, he met a beardless trickster who asked him:
"Why are you crying?"
"My brothers saw the beauty unlike any other under the sun—our father gave them money, but he gave me none, so I never saw her."
The beardless trickster said to him:
"Go buy a goat and an awl, and I’ll show you the beauty unlike any other under the sun."
The king’s son went, bought a goat and an awl, and brought them to the beardless trickster.
They came to the beauty’s house, and they began to poke the goat with the awl, tormenting it as if they were going to slaughter it. The goat cried out. The servants ran to the beauty and reported:
"My lady, come and see how these odd fellows are slaughtering a goat."
The beauty came out, and the king’s son saw her for the first time. The beauty ordered her servants:
"Go and slaughter the goat properly."
The servants went, slaughtered the goat, skinned it, put it in a pot, and set it on the fire to cook.
The beardless trickster then turned the pot upside down. The servants went back to the beauty and reported:
"My lady, come and see how these odd fellows are cooking the meat."
The beauty came out, looked, and ordered her servants:
"Go and cook the goat properly."
And so, the king’s son saw the beauty a second time.
The servants went, took the meat, washed it, put it back in the pot, and cooked it. When the meat was ready, the king’s son and the beardless trickster sat down to eat. They kept banging their heads against the table and burning their lips on the hot meat.
The servants saw this, ran to the beauty, and reported:
"My lady, come and see how these odd fellows are eating."
The beauty ordered:
"Go and bring them here. We’ll do a good deed and teach them how to eat properly."
They brought the two to the beauty, seated them, and fed them. After eating, they grew drowsy. They kept falling over—one on top of the other, as if lying on a feather bed.
The beauty ordered her servants:
"Take this beardless one, and I’ll take care of the other myself."
She laid the king’s son down and said:
"This is how you should lie. Stay still, don’t move, or I’ll take your head off. Tomorrow, I’ll give you three mules loaded with gold and silver. Take them; if you double this wealth, I’ll become your wife. If not, then it’s not meant to be."
The king’s son drove the mules away. He thought to himself: "What should I do? How can I double all this wealth?" He thought and thought, then went to a hashish seller and said:
"Here’s a mule with all this wealth. When I return, you’ll give me one head."
The hashish seller was overjoyed.
The king’s son went on. He gave another mule to a matzoni seller and said:
"When I return, you’ll give me a bowl of matzoni."
He went further. He gave the third mule to a rope seller.
"When I return," he said, "you’ll give me a good rope."
And so, he was left with nothing. He walked on, feeling sad. He met a man who asked him:
"Why are you so sad?"
"I’m sad because the beauty unlike any other under the sun gave me three mules loaded with gold and silver and said, 'If you return twice as much wealth, I’ll marry you.' But I’ve lost it all: I gave one mule to the hashish seller, another to the matzoni seller, and the third to the rope seller. Now I have nothing."
The man said:
"In such-and-such a place, there’s a tree. Go there and hide. All the merchants will come, and their leader will come too. They’ll gather and talk about their profits and losses. Listen to everything and think. If you come up with something, it’s your luck. If not, then it’s not meant to be."
The king’s son went, found the tree, climbed it, and hid. The merchants came, and their leader arrived as well.
"So, how are your profits and losses?" the leader asked.
The hashish seller said:
"I made a good profit yesterday. A man came to me, gave me a mule loaded with gold and silver, and when he returns, I’m to give him one head."
"You didn’t make much," said the leader. "What if he demands a human head? Where will you find one?"
The hashish seller thought about it and left. The matzoni seller approached.
"And what did you earn? What did you do?" the leader asked him.
"I made a good profit yesterday," said the matzoni seller. "A man came to me, gave me a mule loaded with gold and silver, and when he returns, he’ll take a bowl of matzoni."
"You didn’t make much either," said the leader. "What if he demands matzoni made from human milk? Where will you get that?"
This seller also thought about it and left.
The third merchant, the rope seller, approached.
"And what did you earn?" the leader asked him.
"I made a good profit yesterday. A man came to me, gave me a mule loaded with gold and silver, and when he returns, he’ll take one rope."
"You didn’t earn anything," said the leader. "What if he demands a rope made from your mustache? Will you give it to him?"
This seller also thought about it and left.
They all dispersed. The leader went his own way.
The king’s son climbed down from the tree and ran to the hashish seller.
"Give me the head you promised."
The seller brought out a sheep’s head.
"Here, take it!"
"No," said the king’s son. "I don’t agree. Either give me twice as much gold and silver as I left with you, or give me a human head."
What could the seller do? He gave him twice as much gold and silver as he had taken and let him go.
The king’s son went to the matzoni seller.
"Give me the matzoni."
The seller brought out a bowl of matzoni.
"No," said the king’s son. "Give me matzoni made from human milk, or else give me twice as much gold and silver."
He took the gold and silver from him as well and went to the rope seller.
"Give me my rope."
The seller handed him a fine rope.
"Here you go."
"No," said the king’s son. "Give me a rope made from your mustache, or else give me twice as much wealth."
He took all the wealth from him too and went on his way, rejoicing.
He brought everything to the beauty, married her, and lived happily ever after.
Death there, feast here,
Chaff there, flour here.
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