How the Monk Saved His Ears
Once upon a time, there lived a husband and wife. They agreed on everything, except for one thing. Whenever the wife cooked something especially delicious for lunch, the husband would rush outside and drag the first passerby he found to their table. He was the kind of man who couldn’t swallow a bite without lively conversation and jokes to go along with it.And what about the wife? How could she be happy when all she got from the meal were the gnawed bones? Sure, she got her share of the jokes, but jokes alone don’t fill your stomach. She tried to reason with him, got angry, and even threatened him. But the husband would only reply:
"My dear wife, is it my fault that you’re such a wonderful cook? I just want to show the whole world how amazing your cooking is."
What woman could resist such praise? Hearing these words, the wife would stop being angry.
But one day, she bought a pair of very fat quails at the market. She came home and said to her husband:
"Today, please, don’t invite anyone. There are only two quails, just enough for the two of us. I’ll clean them now—sharpen the knife for me, make it really sharp."
"Alright, my dear, as you wish. I won’t invite anyone," the husband replied. He took the knife and went outside to sharpen it on a stone by the porch.
As luck would have it, a plump monk happened to be passing by. The husband couldn’t resist and invited him to lunch.
He brought him inside and said:
"Keep the holy father entertained with some good conversation, my dear, while I finish sharpening the knife."
At this point, the wife’s patience ran out, and she decided to teach her husband a lesson.
"Oh, holy father," she whispered to the monk, "it’s terrifying to even think about what’s about to happen. Do you know why that villain is sharpening the knife? He lures innocent people into the house, cuts off their ears, fries them, and eats them."
Hearing this, the monk grabbed the hem of his cassock and, though he was fatter than a pig, bolted down the street like a swift-footed deer.
"What happened to him?" the surprised husband shouted.
"Nothing happened to him," the wife replied, "but our quails flew away. The monk took them with him and didn’t even say thank you."
The husband then rushed after the monk.
"Hey, holy father!" he shouted as he ran. "Is that fair? Why do you need both? Give me at least one!"
But the monk didn’t want to lose even one ear, so he ran even faster.
"Listen, holy father, I’ll settle for half!"
The poor man shouted in vain. The monk soon disappeared from sight.
The husband was so upset that he sat down on a stone by the road and stayed there until evening. Meanwhile, the wife roasted the quails and ate every last morsel.
From that day on, the husband only invited close friends to lunch, and even then, only on special occasions.
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