The Priest in Paradise

Once upon a time, Pekalė and Tyndalė hired themselves out as farmhands to a certain priest. The priest was mean and greedy—he tormented his poor servants. When they asked for food, he made them work; when they asked for payment for their labor, he made them pray to God.

"Ungrateful wretches," the priest would scold, "all you think about is food and money. You should pray to God more diligently: the true life prepared for man is in the afterlife."

Pekalė and Tyndalė tried to reason with the priest in every way they could, but he just kept repeating his mantra. Seeing that they would neither get a decent life nor any money from the priest, they decided to teach him a proper lesson.

And once they made up their minds, you can be sure they would carry it out. One fine day, Pekalė and Tyndalė caught a whole basket of crayfish, stuck a thin candle into each crayfish's nose, lit them, and released the crayfish into the room. They themselves dressed in white robes, took thick candles in their hands, and began walking from corner to corner, singing:

"We, the messengers of the Lord God, have come for the priest and his wife to take them to the heavenly kingdom."

The priest peeked into the room and was astonished. It seemed to him that heaven itself—with stars, the sun, and angels—had descended to earth.

"Great is Thy mercy, Lord," the priest began to thank and ran to his wife:

"Hey, priestess, get ready: we're about to ascend to paradise. Ready or not, the priest and his wife came into the room as they were, to set off for heaven."

"Ready?"

"Ready, brightest angels!"

"Then climb into this sack, for you have no wings yet to fly. We will take you to heaven."

The priest and his wife climbed into the sack, and Pekalė and Tyndalė tied it tightly and dragged it across the floor, over all the thresholds, and out into the street.

"Oh, Lord, my bones ache from all this shaking!" the priestess wailed.

"Quiet, priestess, I think we're flying through the clouds now," the priest replied.

Meanwhile, Pekalė and Tyndalė tied the sack to a well sweep and wrote on it: "Whoever strikes this sack three times will receive a gold coin, and God will forgive them one sin."

By morning, the news had spread throughout the village. People came to the well, struck the sack three times, received a gold coin from Pekalė, and went on their way. Then the priest's servants came and started beating the sack—pieces of it flew everywhere.

"Oh, oh, my poor ribs," the priest howled. And the priestess kept asking:

"What have we done to sin so grievously, Lord, that You punish us so harshly?"

When the last farmhand struck the sack, the priest and his wife tumbled out onto the ground. Dazed and scared to death, they looked around and couldn't come to their senses.

"Father," Pekalė then said, "perhaps you can tell us what it's like in heaven, since you were so eager for us to take you there?"

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The Priest in Paradise

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