How the Peasant Dined with the Haughty Nobleman

Once upon a time, there lived a rich and arrogant lord. He didn’t want to associate with anyone. And he didn’t consider peasants as people at all: they smelled bad—like earth. So, he ordered his servants to chase the peasants away.

One day, the peasants gathered and began talking about the lord. One said:

"I’ve seen our lord up close—I met him in the field."

Another said:

"And I peeked over the fence yesterday—I saw the lord drinking coffee on the balcony."

Then the poorest peasant came up to them, listened, and started laughing.

"Ha," he said, "such importance! I don’t just look at the lord over the fence—if I want, I’ll have dinner with him!"

"Where would you have dinner with the lord! As soon as he sees you, he’ll order you to be thrown out and won’t let you near the house!" they replied.

The peasants began to argue and bicker.

"You’re lying!" they shouted.
"I’m not lying!"

"Well, if you have dinner with the lord, we’ll give you three sacks of wheat and two oxen. But if you don’t, you’ll have to do everything we say."

"Agreed!" replied the peasant.

He went to the lord’s estate. The servants saw him, rushed out, and wanted to chase him away.

"Wait!" said the peasant. "I have good news for the lord."
"What news?"
"I won’t tell anyone—only the lord!"

The servants went to the lord and reported: so and so. The lord became curious: the peasant hadn’t come to beg but with some news. Maybe there was some benefit in it... He ordered his servants:

"Let the peasant in!"

The servants let the poor peasant in. The lord came out and asked:

"What news do you have?"

The peasant glanced at the servants and said:

"My lord, I’d like to speak with you alone."

The lord’s curiosity grew: what could it be? He ordered the servants to leave.

When they were alone, the peasant quietly said:

"Tell me, gracious lord: how much is a lump of gold the size of a horse’s head worth?"
"Why do you ask?" inquired the lord.
"I need to know..."

The lord’s eyes lit up, and his hands trembled. "Ah," he thought, "the peasant isn’t asking for no reason! He must have found a treasure..."

He began to probe:

"Tell me, peasant, why do you need to know this?"

The peasant sighed and said:

"Well, if you don’t want to tell me—that’s your choice. But I don’t have time—I need to go eat!"

The lord forgot his pride and trembled with greed: "I’ll trick this peasant—I’ll get the gold out of him!"

He said to the peasant:

"Here’s the thing, peasant: why rush home? If you’re hungry, have dinner with me!"

He shouted to his servants:

"Quick, set the table, bring us some vodka!"

The servants—quick as a flash!—set the table and brought food and vodka.

The lord began to treat the peasant:

"Drink, peasant! Eat, peasant! Eat your fill! Don’t hold back."

The peasant ate and drank without refusing. And the lord kept piling food on his plate and pouring drinks.

The lord fed and watered the peasant until he was stuffed and then said:

"Now, hurry up—bring me that lump of gold the size of a horse’s head! I’ll know what to do with it. And I’ll reward you—I’ll give you a ruble!"

"No, my lord, I won’t bring you that gold!"
"Why not, peasant?"
"Because I don’t have it."
"How can you not have it? Then why did you ask how much it’s worth?"
"Just out of curiosity."

The lord flew into a rage, turned blue, stamped his feet, and shouted:

"Get out, you fool!"

But the peasant replied:

"Oh, my gracious lord! I’m not as big a fool as you think: I’ve had my fun with you, and I’ve won three sacks of wheat and two oxen. A fool couldn’t have done that!"

And with that, he left.

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How the Peasant Dined with the Haughty Nobleman

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