Barekendan (Maslenitsa)

Once upon a time, there lived a husband and wife. They didn’t really get along well. The husband called his wife a fool, and she called him a blockhead, so they were always quarreling. One day, the husband bought several poods of rice and oil, loaded them onto a porter, and brought them home.

The wife flew into a rage:
"And you still get angry when I call you a blockhead! What do we need so much oil and rice for? Are you preparing for your father’s funeral or your son’s wedding or something?"
"What funeral, what wedding? What are you babbling about, woman? Just take it and hide it. It’s for Barekendan."

The wife calmed down, took the goods, and hid them. Many days passed, and the wife kept waiting and waiting, but Barekendan never showed up. One day, as she was sitting by the doorstep, she saw someone hurrying down the street. She shielded her eyes from the sun with her hand and shouted:
"Hey, brother, hey, brother, wait a minute!"

The passerby stopped.
"Aren’t you Barekendan, brother?"
The passerby realized the woman wasn’t quite right in the head and thought, "Let me say I’m Barekendan and see what happens."
"Yes, sister, I am Barekendan. What do you want?"
"Well, I’ll tell you this: it’s high time you came to take your rice and oil. We didn’t sign up to store your stuff. Have some conscience!"
"Why are you so angry, dear sister? That’s exactly why I’m here—I’ve been looking for your house but couldn’t find it."
"Well, come in and take it!"

The passerby entered the house, took the oil and rice, turned his back to the house, faced his village, and was gone in a flash!

When the husband returned, the wife told him:
"That Barekendan came by, and I threw his stuff at him—he took it and left!"
"What Barekendan? What stuff?"
"The oil and rice. I saw him walking by, looking for our house. I called him, gave him a piece of my mind, loaded the sack onto his shoulders, and off he went."
"Ah, may your house collapse, you fool! No wonder I always say you’re a fool! Which way did he go?"
"That way."

The husband jumped on his horse and galloped after Barekendan. Barekendan turned around and saw the horseman catching up. He figured it must be the woman’s husband.

The horseman caught up to him:
"Good day, brother!"
"Good health to you!"
"Did anyone pass by this road?"
"Yes."
"What was he carrying on his back?"
"Oil and rice."
"That’s exactly who I need! How long ago did he pass by?"
"Quite a while ago."
"If I ride after him, will I catch up?"
"No way! You’re on horseback, and he’s on foot. While your horse is taking four steps—one, two, three, four—he’s running on two feet—one, two, one, two, one, two—and he’s gone!"
"What should I do then?"
"What should you do? If you want, leave your horse with me, and run on foot like he did—maybe you’ll catch up."
"Yes, you’re right."

The husband dismounted, left his horse with the passerby, and set off on foot.

As soon as he was out of sight, Barekendan loaded his loot onto the horse, turned off the road, and rode away.
The husband walked and walked, realizing he couldn’t catch up. He turned back, but the passerby and the horse were gone. He returned home, and they started quarreling again: the husband over the oil and rice, and the wife over the horse.

And to this day, the husband and wife are still quarreling. He calls her a fool, and she calls him a blockhead.
And Barekendan listens and chuckles.

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Barekendan (Maslenitsa)

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