General Fanta-Giro

They tell and retell an amazing story that happened long ago.

There lived a king who had no sons but three daughters. The eldest was named Bianca, the middle one was Assuntina, and the youngest deserves a special mention. As soon as she was born and opened her pitch-black eyes, everyone gasped in awe—she was such a beauty. They decided to give her the most beautiful name that no one in the world had ever heard before—Fanta-Giro.

In addition to his three daughters, the king had three thrones. One was blue, the second was black, and the third was purple. The king sat on the blue throne when he was happy, on the black one when he was displeased with something, and he never sat on the purple throne.

One morning, the daughters ran to greet their father and saw him sitting on the black throne, staring out the window.

"Why are you displeased, Father?" the daughters asked and also looked out the window.

They saw nothing new. In front of the palace stretched a meadow, a little further away shimmered a river, then rose a grove, and beyond the grove stood a mountain. And beyond the mountain began the neighboring kingdom, though it was not visible.

"Why are you displeased, Your Majesty?" the daughters asked again.

"How can I be pleased when the sun rises in the neighboring kingdom a full half-hour earlier? And all because of that cursed mountain! I’ve lived for seventy years and never noticed this before. But today I noticed, and now I will not leave the black throne for anything."

The daughters were saddened. They knew there would be no balls or celebrations in the palace until their father moved back to the blue throne.

So, after some thought, the eldest daughter said:

"If we move the palace three hundred steps to the right, the mountain won’t block the sun."

The king silently shook his head.

Then the middle daughter said:

"If you don’t want to move the palace to the right, we can move it to the left."

At this, the king nearly cried from distress.

"See, this is why you’re just girls!" he said. "Your brother, my son, who never existed, wouldn’t have given such foolish advice. He would have known—or rather, would know—that a royal palace is not a doghouse that can be moved from place to place. Where my great-great-grandfather lived, my great-grandfather, my grandfather, my father—that is where I must live."

"There’s no need to be sad, dear Father," Fanta-Giro said cheerfully. "If we can’t move the palace, order the mountain to be torn down."

"Ah, my daughter," the delighted king exclaimed, "you are almost as clever as your brother... if he had existed."

The king immediately ordered the mountain to be torn down.

Of course, tearing down a mountain is no easy task, but it’s possible. As the proverb goes, the only house that cannot be destroyed is the one drawn on paper. A mountain, though not a house, was eventually dealt with, and the daughters came to congratulate their father.

But what did they see? Their father was not sitting on the black throne, nor on the blue one. The king was sitting on the purple throne. This had never happened before.

"What happened, Father?" the daughters asked.

"I am threatened with war," he replied. "The neighboring king is displeased because his echo has disappeared."

"Where did it go, dear Father, and what does it have to do with you?" the daughters exclaimed.

"Well, you see, the mountain I ordered to be torn down stood on our land and belonged to us. But the echo that bounced off the mountain was the property of the neighboring king. When the mountain was torn down, the echo disappeared as well. The neighboring king has gathered his army and demands that his royal echo be returned, or else he will declare war. So I’ve sat on the purple throne—the throne of war."

"And will you go to war?" the daughters asked.

"I don’t know what to do," the king replied with a sigh. "First, I’ve never fought a war and don’t know how it’s done. Second, I’m old and weak. And third, I have no general. If you had a brother, he would have been the general."

"If you allow it," said Bianca, the eldest daughter, "I will be the general. Surely I can command soldiers!"

"That’s not a woman’s job," the king grumbled.

"Then test me," Bianca insisted.

"A test, perhaps, is possible," the king agreed. "But remember, if you start chattering about women’s trifles during the campaign, you’re not a general but just a royal daughter. You must immediately return home with the entire army."

And so it was decided. The king ordered his faithful squire Tonino not to leave the princess’s side and to listen to everything she said.

So Bianca and Tonino rode off to war, followed by the entire army. They crossed the meadow and approached the river, overgrown with reeds.

"What wonderful reeds!" Bianca exclaimed. "On our way back from the war, we’ll cut plenty of them and make spinning wheels."

"You can cut the reeds right now," said Tonino, "because you’re already returning."

He gave the command, and the entire army turned left. And so Bianca never became a general.

"Now test me," said the middle daughter, Assuntina, to the king.

The army set out a second time. Leading the way were Assuntina and the king’s faithful squire.

They passed the reeds. Assuntina said nothing. They entered the grove. Assuntina spoke:

"What wonderful chestnuts! What fine spindles we could make from them!"

"Halt!" Tonino commanded the army. "Let’s go home."

And the entire army—cavalry, artillery, infantry, and supply train—turned back.

Then the youngest daughter, Fanta-Giro, ran to her father.

"No, no," said the king, "you’re too young."

"Dear Father, do you love me less than my sisters?"

The king couldn’t resist. He issued a third decree and appointed Fanta-Giro as general.

"If I’m to be a general, I’ll be a real one," the girl said to herself.

She put on armor, tucked her long braids under her helmet, girded herself with a sword, and added two pistols. The general turned out to be quite impressive.

They set out on the march for the third time. They passed the reeds—Fanta-Giro said nothing; they passed the chestnut grove—Fanta-Giro kept her mouth shut. They reached the border, and on the other side stood the enemy army. In front of the army rode a young king on a black horse, handsome and stately.

Fanta-Giro halted her troops and said to Tonino:

"Before the battle begins, I’ll speak with the neighbor. You ride to where the mountain stood and hide in the bushes. If I come to that spot and start speaking, repeat my last words after me. And make it loud—do you hear?"

If Fanta-Giro had still been the youngest princess, Tonino might have tried to argue with her. After all, he wasn’t just anyone—he was the king’s faithful squire. It wasn’t his place to hide in the bushes like a rabbit. But now Tonino stood before a general. So he turned left and went to hide in the bushes.
And Fanta-Gyro approached the enemy king and said:

"Your Royal Majesty, my army is ready for battle. The horses are fed, the cannons are loaded, the rifles are polished, and the sabers are sharpened. But let us talk—why are we going to fight? After all, my lord, the king, could do whatever he pleased with his mountain."

"With the mountain, yes," retorted the young king, "but he encroached on someone else's property—my echo."

"Ah, Your Majesty, I am sure it only seemed that way to you. Let us go to that place, and you will see that the echo has not disappeared."

"Let us go," agreed the king.

They spurred their horses and soon found themselves where the mountain had once stood. There they stopped, and General Fanta-Gyro sang in a gentle voice:

"Once lived a little echo long ago,
On a high and steep mountain.
Hearing songs, to amuse the people,
It answered with a simple tune..."

"...Simple-oh-oh!" howled Tonino from the bushes, startling the king.

But he quickly forgot about the echo, as the general continued his song:

"They say the echo has now vanished,
No more songs, no more laughter...
But there's not a grain of truth in that.
Sing louder—the echo will answer back."

"Oho-ho!" roared the squire. "And how it will answer!"

"Oh, holy Madonna!" exclaimed the king, covering his ears. "And for this, I, a fool, wanted to go to war!"

"I can sing more," the general offered graciously.

"Just not here," the king said hastily. "I very much enjoy your singing, but I do not wish to hear the echo anymore. Let us forget our quarrels and become friends. Would you agree to stay as a guest in my castle?"

"Gladly, Your Majesty," said the general.

As soon as they arrived at the royal castle, the king ran to his mother's chambers.

"Mother, I have brought the enemy general as a guest. But he does not look like a mustachioed warrior at all. Ah, what eyes, what a mouth, what a gentle voice! It seems to me that this is not a general, but a disguised girl. You are a wise woman, advise me on how to find out the truth."

"Take the general to the armory," replied the queen. "If the general is indeed a girl, she will pay no attention to the weapons."

The young king followed his mother's advice. But as soon as the general crossed the threshold of the armory, he cried out in admiration. He praised the long-barreled arquebuses, tested whether the swords were well-sharpened, and checked if the rapiers were pointed. He grabbed a saber and began swinging it right in front of the king's nose.

Then the king hurried back to the queen.

"Mother," he said, "the general behaves like a true man, but I am even more convinced than before that this is a girl. And I like this girl more and more with each passing minute."

"Well, my son," replied the queen, "take the general to the garden. If it is a girl, she will pluck a rose or a violet and pin it to her chest. If it is a man, he will pluck a sprig of jasmine and tuck it behind his ear."

The young king invited Fanta-Gyro to stroll in the garden. He did not take his eyes off the general. But the general did not glance at the lush roses or the shy violets. Instead, as they passed a flowering jasmine bush, the general casually plucked a sprig and tucked it behind his ear.

The king knocked on the old queen's chambers for the third time.

"Mother, according to all your signs, the general is a man, but my heart tells me it is a girl. What should I do?"

"Here is my final advice. Invite the general to dinner. But watch carefully. A woman cuts slices of bread by pressing the loaf to her chest, while a man cuts bread in the air."

Dinner began. The general took a knife and cut a large slice of bread in the air.

After dinner, the mother said to her son:

"Now you are finally convinced that the general is a man."

"No, Mother, this is a girl. And I will test her myself."

Approaching Fanta-Gyro, the young king said:

"I have become such good friends with you, General, that I would like to introduce you to my fiancée. We will rest for a while now, and in the evening, if you agree, we will saddle the horses and ride to visit her."

Oh, what happened to the general! He turned pale, then red, and answered in a trembling voice:

"Gladly, Your Majesty. Seeing your fiancée will be my greatest pleasure."

Then the king escorted the general to his assigned chambers. When he returned two hours later, the general was gone. Without wasting a moment, the young king leaped onto his horse and galloped to the neighboring kingdom.

Meanwhile, Fanta-Gyro was embracing her father, who was once again seated on the blue throne.

"Ah, dear father," she said, weeping bitterly, "I went to war but brought back peace."

"Then why are you crying, my dear daughter?" her father asked.

"I lost my heart there!" she replied, crying even more pitifully.

Suddenly, the sound of hoofbeats was heard outside the palace windows, and a minute later, the young king burst into the throne room. He walked straight to Fanta-Gyro and said:

"General, I ask you to become my wife."

"And your fiancée?" the girl asked.

"Dear Fanta-Gyro, when I told you about the fiancée, you were a general. And deceiving an enemy general is hardly a sin. I have no fiancée, except for you, if you agree."

"She agrees, she agrees," answered the old king on behalf of his daughter.

Soon the wedding was held. Fanta-Gyro, abandoning her battle armor, donned a dress with a long train and pinned a rose to her chest. The young king beamed as he looked at his beautiful wife. And the old king and queen danced the tarantella so joyfully that it was a delight to watch.

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General Fanta-Giro

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